Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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