The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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