Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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