Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
