The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
