I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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