I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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