May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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