it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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