listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
