I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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