no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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