yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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