Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
