I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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