dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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