I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
