So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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