At least make sure they are 18
Why
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
