have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize