he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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