Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
