I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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