Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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