Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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