you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i will never coherently bang her
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
