Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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