Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
