Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
