we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cockslap morals
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
