I want to have your abortion
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
