How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
