So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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