did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
