he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need water and some morals
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
