Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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