I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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