let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
