he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
