How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
