cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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