update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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