im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
