Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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