i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
