Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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