I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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