it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
