I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
