So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
