CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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