the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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