my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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