"it" just moved
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
