I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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