it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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