New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
