May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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