i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
