My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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