My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
