Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
