I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
