I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Success! We fucked roommates!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize