I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
