yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
