how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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