i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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