I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
